Koi Pond


My current phone wallpaper. I like staring at the screen. I find it very relaxing. 🙂


Up and down. Ebb and flow. Bob and float. High and low.

Change. Few want it, most resist it but are forced into it. Why? Because change is hard and uncomfortable. Imagine yourself a flower getting plucked from the warm earth to be placed into a vase. Or a fledgling on its first flight in search for new territory.

Circumstances around us change. Upheavals. People around us change. We, ourselves, change. We can refuse to embrace it at the moment but sooner or later we succumb to it. There was just no other way. When we refuse change, we get left behind, we get stuck in our own phantoms. Life passes us by.

A lot of us are afraid of change. New surroundings and new faces frighten us. We long for familiarity. We despise having to give concessions to things which threaten to tip the balance of our lives.

Still some yearn for change at every turn. New identity, new experiences. These people see change as a way to freedom. Escapists. And I am one of them.

We live for the cheap thrill of new things, for the novelty of fresh experiences. We don’t want ties that bind. If only we could be rid of them. But that’s never possible. Not entirely. We want to be uprooted all the time. We embrace change like a friend. Why? Because constant change allows for detachment.  We have to bathe in it in order to be detached from it. Change is, after all, painful. We hope that by getting so acquainted with it and the pain it brings, we can become desensitized. We want to see how much hurt we can endure. We want to feel until we cannot feel anymore. We push ourselves to the limit.

But behind all the facade, we escapists long for home. We long for warm arms that would assure us that we don’t have to drive the world crazy just to feel and be alive. We relish the idea that somewhere there is firm foothold and rest. We want steadfastness and constancy. We are just afraid to get too attached to people and things that come and go. Because we know change.

We can plan for a change in weather and time. I never planned on you changing your mind.